Brushing Teeth And Self-Care

Self-Care by Chelan Harkin

Perhaps we need to give dimension to the meaning of self-care. Self-care can mean finally sinking into the dark pools of your shadows you’ve long been avoiding.

Self-care can mean encountering the self-spun, inherited veils we’ve cloaked over our luminous spirit and inquiring “am I more than this?”

Self-care can mean at last entering the forest of your terrors, to realize the fears you othered are all howling like night animals within you, and realizing the outside was always within.

Self-Care can mean finally looking yourself in the eyes, into the black holes of our pupils and their wild desire to annihilate every untruth you’ve held dear.

And within all this, self-care can still mean we get to eat a little extra chocolate.

At the beginning of last July, while traveling for the university, I contracted covid and was almost entirely bed bound for close to two weeks. I ran a high fever, had a terrible cough and struggled with dizziness and exhaustion. There were days that I was only up to get more water and use the bathroom before I would fall back into bed exhausted and in need of more sleep.

During this time I failed to check my emails, I missed a lot of phone calls, was unable to wash my clothes or do dishes and there were a number of days that I didn't feel strong enough to even get in the shower, but I always managed to brush my teeth. Now, this largely has to do with the fact that this habit has been engrained in me since I was a small child, but also because it is a small act, that takes no more than a few minutes, but really does make a big difference. It was a refreshing moment, an act of care for myself, a moment of normalcy in the midst of a bad situation. Brushing my teeth didn’t solve my problems, but it was an act of self care and kindness to myself that had a noticeable payout when it came to my mental and emotional health.

Teeth brushing is this interesting thing because it is this small act that most of us, if not all of us in this room do everyday. Rain or shine, in sickness or in health, hell or highwater, we brush our teeth. I think there is an interesting lesson tucked away in this little habit we would do well to consider.

You see there are at least three things that I believe teeth brushing can teach us. The first lesson is that a small habit can have a big impact. There is something refreshing, enlivening, pleasant, about brushing our teeth. It makes us feel more awake, more alert, more ready to greet our day. But it important to note doesn't just feel good. It is good. This small habit plays a serious role in our oral health and over all health. The second lesson we can take from teeth brushing is that the power of a tiny habit done everyday has a much bigger impact than doing something big on occasion. Dentists often comment on that they can tell which patients floss regularly and which do not. A deep clean every six months is great, but it is not near as effective as doing a little every day. Whether its eating our vegetables, doing our morning stretches or having that extra glass of water, its the little things done over a long period of time that make the lasting impacts.

The third lesson, and perhaps the most important less, we can learn from our teeth brushing is that we as people are actually capable of adopting practices that are good for us. The fact we brush our teeth each and every day is proof that we can actually train ourselves to take a few minutes out of everyday to do something for our health and well-being.

And this little life lesson is where I want us to dig in a bit. There are many practices and habits that take up very little time, no more than what it takes you to brush your teeth and wash your face, and can promote wellness in your heart and your soul, the same way that brushing your teeth promotes wellness in your body.

The Rev. Dr. Molly Remer, in her book Goddess Devotional, looks across religious and spiritual traditions and broadly categorizes practices of emotional and spiritual wellbeing into five distinct groups.

The first is movement. For Dr. Remer this might be stretching, tai chi, yoga or a walk in the park. She will note that while exercise can be very good for your mental and spiritual health this is different because the primary focus is on the inner self, not the physical self, and so there is an intentionality towards movement that focuses on internal restoration that is being spoken of here.

The second is prayer. Now, many people have different ways of thinking about prayer, but at a highly general level, Prayer here is designated as connection to something outside of oneself. So talking to a deity about your struggles is prayer, but so is thanking the earth and the rain and the sun their sustenance. Prayer might be a mantra that is repeated and counted on beads, or it might be gazing on the beauty of a fallen leaf. It might be singing, or sighing or laughing or crying. This is not a commentary on what you are connecting with, it is an invitation to connect with whatever you feel called to.

Now the third category is Word. Both reading and writing. This might look like reading poetry or sacred text, this might be journaling or free writing. This also would be where using Oracle or Tarot cards would be placed.

Fourth is creation. Dr. Remer points out that this is the area that is most overlooked in many spiritual traditions, but this would be drawing, coloring, painting, sculpting, making music, taking photos, working with clay, Anything that adds a moment of beauty to the world would fall into this category.

Lastly, is meditation. Now like prayer, meditation is understood here to be connection. But instead of connecting with something or someone outside of the self, meditation is a deepening of a connection within oneself. This may look like seated or walking meditation, it may look like gazing on a centering piece of art, a pool of water, or the flame of a candle. It might involve the use of prayer beads or cords, and may involve a mantra similarly to prayer. The difference is not so much in the action taken, but in where the attention is being directed.

Thinking over this list then, I would like to invite everyone into some homework for this next month. I would love for us to think about one of these five areas, Movement, Prayer, Word, Creation and Meditation. And commit to trying to develop a 3-4 minute habit for your spiritual well-being. Perhaps you might set a timer and meditate for a few minutes before bed, or read and reflect on a poem while you have your morning coffee. Perhaps it will be stretching before you get into the shower or draw an Oracle card to start your day. Whatever it is, it doesn’t have to be elaborate, and it doesn’t have to take long, but like brushing your teeth, a small investment in your inner health each day, will have a long term impact on the days to come.

May we value ourselves enough to commit to promoting our wellbeing each and every day. May we see ourselves as worthy of our time and compassion and may see how much we can change the world, by changing how we love and care for ourselves.

Amen.